DEAR LAMARCA,

PRINCE SHITHOLE IS ONE WHO LOSES. WORD IN THE GRAPEVINE IS THAT HIS FAMILY INVESTED IN THE BASS GUITARRE MARKET AND THE BOTTOM FELL OUT. DO NOT RELINQUISH YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY TO THIS LOW LIFE FEEDER ON BOTTOMS!

DEAR MR CHARLEY NOBLE,

MY COUSIN HAD A COLLECTION OF BANJOES WHICH HE TRIED TO DISTRIBUTE AND SELL MUCH THE SAME WAY I TRY WITH OUR GUITARRES. HE NOW HAS 27,051 BANJOS. MY FATHER MR AINGOTTE A. HOAM WAS MORE SHREWED THAN MY COUSIN NOBBO D. HOAM WHO LIVES ON THE MOUNTAIN RANGE. THEY SAY HE NEVER HEARS A DISCOURAGING WORD BUT I THINK HE JUST DOES NOT LISTEN.

UPON FARTHER CONSIDERATION WE HAVE DECIDED WE WILL ALSO ACCEPT 12 STRUNG GUITARRES MADE BY MR APPOLONIO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE. IF YOU EVER VISIT TITTIEBUMME PLEASE VISIT OUR HOME AND BE LIBERATED TO WALK RIGHT IN!