Well, I was in the grocery again today, buying a pack of razor blades, and what should I see but the latest headline on "News of the World". A few days ago they were talking about Osama's goat, Naomi, who was purportedly being held hostage by the US Marines, under threat of execution if Osama does not turn himself in.

Obviously, it didn't work! Instead, he released a defiant audiotape. I coulda told 'em it wouldn't work...

Anyway, there's no further news on the goat...BUT...

There is a riveting article about a list of prophecies found written on the wall of an empty cave in Afghanistan, written there purportedly by Osama Bin Laden himself (probably in blood).

I didn't read the whole article, but the general theme of these prophecies is how God is going to punish the USA for their persecution of his People.

The two worst events:

1. Half the people in the USA are going to perish by the Black Plague (it doesn't say which half...so neither Democrats nor Republicans should necessarily derive comfort from this).

2. Britney Spears is going to CONVERT TO ISLAM!!!

Now THAT is guaranteed to chill the blood of every patriotic American, I should think.

I didn't read the rest. I was too shaken by the Britney revelation.

The End Times are near, folks...

- LH