Don't ask me who owns the copyright--
Dan--
"'Twas in our local public house one evening late in June,
Piano it was playin' and it was a groovy tune,
When bursting thro' the bar-room door came a giant of a man--
"Fill me a pint--for I've come to fight wi' a man that you call Dan!"

"He drank a pint o' whisky--and then ate fifty pies;
He must have measured seven feet--an' that's between the eyes!
"I've searched around this whole wide world, each corner of this land--
But tonight I'll fight, for in this room there is a man called DAN!"

Then up steps this wee fella with red ginger hair-
He couldn't have made but four feet six--with his hands up in the air;
"Well, I'm yer man, my name is Dan--hit me, if ye can!"
--And a big black boot it left the floor and blootered him on the pan!

The wee lad hit the ceiling, and then began to drop;
Was met by an uppercut, and three karate chops--
His blood was all around the walls, his false teeth on the floor--
And the big man trampled over them as he walked out the door.

The bar-room door had hardly closed when the wee chap shook his head--
He starts to roar and laugh then , and here is what he said--
"Oh I've just made a fool o' him, I've just had a ball!--
For I'm wee Willie McCann--I'm not Dan at all!!"