The Academic

(Tune: The Boxer, Simon&Garfunkel)



I am just a poor boy, my story it is plain
I have squandered my aesthetic sense
For a discipline that only works within the brain
I immersed myelf in physics and the mysteries of graphs
And when passion overcame me,
I would hide in calculations til the feeling passed.

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

Now once I had girlfriend, but she didn't stay for long
And so quickly she decided the relationship was wrong
I left her far behind me, in my sorrow and my fear
And retreated to the physics lab,
Doing calculus to cover up my endless tears

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

I immersed myself in Excel files, and drawing clever charts
Trying hard to close the channels to my feelings and my heart
And I ran a few experiments, like an ordinary bloke,
I was lost in contemplation, and I never saw the lab fill up with smoke

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

As my eyes began to siffer from the acrid burning fumes
My attention was distracted by arrivals there from all the other study rooms
And then I began to notice I was actually aflame!
"I am burning, I am burning!" "The extinguisher, please!"
As my polyster Sears slacks melted to my knees!

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

I am called the red-hot reearch kid
They laugh along the halls
Everybody on the campus knows
Just what I did to my pecker and my balls.
But my psyche has recovered, and I only want to say
That it wasn't such a tragedy
I really wasn't using them much, anyway!

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela
Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela
(Fade on ladelas and big boom sounds)