Another one my granddad used to sing was "The Burglar Beau", about a burglar who goes to rob a house, but the old maid who lives there comes in and catches him under her bed, after she takes off her wig, pulls out her glass eye and false teeth. Then she pulls out a pistol and tells him she'll shhot him if he doesn't marry her. Of course the last line is, "Woman for godssake, Shoot!" Haven't seen that one here, but I could probably scare up the lyrics. My Dad actually remembers them.