Helen, yes, thanks, that's what I meant. And I didn't mean to say that it's a good thing, good for someone to have to go through stuff like that, but instead of suggestions of how your son could alter his behaviour to "get by" I think a person deserves credit and respect for hanging in there, in an ugly and unfair situation. There's something to it, and even if my kid wasn't a saint about it, and even though I'd want to avoid the whole thing, I'd also want to honour and respect their dealing with it as best they could, when they had to.