Right. First. Carl MacDougall writing in _Chapbook_ in 1966:

"
HAIRY MARY

THIS song was written in George Square, Glasgow, one Friday morning some so years ago by Ron Clark and I after we had missed our late-night buses. At that time, many versions of "The Virgin Mary" were being sung around the West of Scotland clubs, and we had heard it once too often that night at Paisley. Though it may seem sacrilegious, the original &raft was on the back of a volume of Joe Corrie's poems.

Although Ron and I sang it, to mixed receptions, at one or two clubs, the song was soon by N CLARK & forgotten and it lay dormant until almost four months after CARL MacDOUGALL its inception, when we taught
it to Archie Fisher

WHAT happened after that anyone's guess. In the transcription Archie altered Some of the words and the song was picked up at various clubs around the country. Now 1 am told localised versions exist Perth and Dundee as well as Kirkcaldy where, apparently, the "Hard man" comes from Dysart [?] and goes to the Burnt—island Palais. Someone took the song to London and a version has also been heard in Dublin.

CHAPBOOK would be interested to hear from anyone who knows such versions or others we may have missed. Tell ue where you heard it, from whom and if you know who put it together. We will acknowledge all letters received and print as many as we can. If you any variants, please send them to: CHAPBOOK, 34 MONTAGUE STREET, GLASGOW C.4.

CM

Oot o' the East there cam' a hard man,
A', a', a' the way frae Brigton.

CHORUS;

Oh, oh, Glory Hallelujah,
Cod Liver Oil an' the Orange Juice.

He went intae a pub an' he cam' oct paralytic;
Aw haw, V.P. an' cider.

Does this bus go tae the Denny Palais,
"Aw haw, I'm lookin' fur a lumber."

In the Palais he met Hairy Mary,
Aw haw, the flo'er o' the Calton.

He says tae her: "Hey hen are ye dancin?"
"Naw, naw, it's just the way I'm staunin' .

He says tae her: "Yir wan in a million."
"Aw haw, so's yer chances."

"Can I run ye hame, I've got a pair o' sannies,"
"Aw haw, ye're helluva funny."

Up the back close an' doon the dunny,
Naw, naw, it wisnae for the first time.

Her Maw came oot tae go tae the didgy,
Aw haw, he buggered off sharpish.

She tried the find the hard man,
He'd jined the Foreign Legion;
Aw haw, Sahara an' the camels.

So Hairy Mary had a little baby,
Haw, haw, its faither's in the Army.
"

Right. So the FIRST version reads VP an the cider and Hairy Mary is the floor o the Carlton.

Jump to that piss-artist, Cliff Hanley:

This is pretty-much the original version, so i won't transcribe it -- she's still the floor o the Calton.

Then _A Glasgow Diary_, which gives a few glosses:

"
Carl MacDougall is born just in time to get himself an income tax rebate. Hard to believe this smiling babe will one day so far forget himself as to be irrevocably connected with that disreputable street-ballad, greatly relished by the vulgar element, known as "Cod Liver Oil and Orange Juice". Indeed, many believe it to be a folksong of hazy and ancient origin;* however, we confirm it is wholly the handcrafted work of the aforesaid and present it here, as it were, from the horse's mouth:

COD LIVER OIL AND THE ORANGE JUICE

It was oot o the east' there came a hard man,2
Aw haw, aa the way fae Brigton.3

Chorus

Ah-ha, Glory Hallelujah,
The cod liver oil and the orange juice.4

He went intae a pub and he came oot paraletic,5
Aw haw, the VP6 and the cider.

Does this bus go tae the Denny Palais?7
Aw haw, Ah'm lookin fur a lumber.

In the Palais he met Hairy8 Mairy.
Aw haw, the flooer o the Calton.

He says tae her, Tell me hen9 are ye dancin?
Aw naw, it's just the wey Ah'm staunin.

He says tae her, You're wan in a million,'0
Aw haw, so's your chances.

Can Ah run ye hame? Ah've got a pair of sannies,'11
Aw haw, you're helluva funny.

Up the back close and doon the dunny,'12
Aw haw, it wisnae for the first time.

Oot came her maw tae go tae the didgy,"'
Aw haw, he buggered off sharpish.

She's - tried tae find the hard man,
he's jined the Foreign Legion,
Aw haw, Sahara and the camels.

So Hairy Mairy had a little baby,
Aw haw, its faither's in the army.

The theme does owe something to the American Spiritual "The Virgin Mary had a Little Baby".

Glossary of Terms:

        1        "East" — The percipient reader will note that our hero, in order to travel west from Brigton to the "Denny Palais" must first go west by north-west, veering north-easterly round about the Gallowgate. Such an indirect approach is frequently adopted by the "hard man" on a "Saturday night".

        2        "hard man" — One insensitive to the claims of heart and conscience, as distinct from the demands of the genitals and belly.
        3        "Brigton" — Site of the Battle of the Boyne.
        4        "cod liver oil and the orange juice" see 6.
        5        "paraletic" (a) 1. affected with, suffering from, or subject to paralysis; palsied: 2, of the nature pertaining to paralysis: 3, deprived or destitute of energy or power of         action; powerless; ineffective; characterised by impotence or powerlessness. (b) Drunk.
        6        "VP" — Whether of the ruby, white or tawny variety this reasonably priced colonial wine is at all times robust,congenial and well rounded, making up in hearty good spirits what it lacks in pedigree. Slight aftertaste but considerable after effect. Should be served straight from the pocket, slightly chambre, or alfresco with chips. Here it is imbibed contrapuntally with a "chaser" of wood-        alcohol "cider" in what has become a classic combination Some connoisseurs would argue, however, that the only accompaniment necessary is a good boke and "Same again, Jimmy".
        7        "Palais" — From "Palais de Danse Macabre". Dennis        MacAbre was its first manager.
        8        "Hairy" — Not hirsute as such but female. (Pron: Herry.)
        9        "hen" — Form of address used towards the fair sex. N.B "hairy" may be a "hen" but a "hen" cannot be "hairy" only "feathery" or in some instances, "plucked".
        10        "one in a million" — The complex mathematical equation contained in this stanza can be expressed as follows: where
                Y"Hairy Mairy" and X"your chances":
                               Y=l/1 ,000,000
                                  x>.Y
                          Therefore X>1/1 ,000,000.
        11        "sannies" — gutties.
        12        "dunny" — The communal stairs serving the Glasgow tenement rises from a communal passage called the "close" linking the street entrance with a rear entrance to the communal drying green or back. Where this yard or back is on a lower level than the street, the close will have steps descending to a sunken area anterior to the rear 13 entrance. This is the dunny. "it" — Signifies a characteristic delicacy of nuance, whereby any event of particular physicality and/or emotional intensity is not so much explicated within the texture of meaning of the verse, as alluded to with the obliquity of suggestion, like a fart in a thunderstorm.

"didgy" — midden.
"

Robin.