Went to see "Notting Hill" last night (not a great romantic film like "Out of Sight" but pretty good) and realized that one of the things not mentioned in this thread was power. What happens in most true romantic comedies (which are meditations on our theme) including Notting Hill, is that the lovers keep trying to sort out their mutual power relations. In the film what is interesting is that the woman has most of the power, and the man is the suppliant maiden (though it has to be handled very carefully, and semi-passively on his part, which works for Brits dealing with Americans). Anyway, what is usually required in these films is that both people have to reject each other once so as not to lose their autonomy; and of course come back together again when it is all over. One problem with the rejection scenario played out in this thread is that you are rejected with no possibility of getting back to a position of equality again . You have lost face, and are admittedly without power. The dream is that you will regain that power, or that you will get a chance to do to them what they did to you (which is why romantic comedies are so addictive). The secret of course is to reject that whole structure of power/powerlessness and move on. Or go and rent "It Happened One Night", "The Lady Eve", etc..
Yours, Peter T.