Dear Aliens,

We respectfully request that you abduct the following humans as soon as alienly possible:

George W. Bush
John Ashcroft
Dick Cheney
Donald Rumsfeld
Trent Lott (Nevermind. I think you already got him.)

In the event your research determines that any of the above are not human, please return them to the planet(s) from whence they came. For those that are human, please endeavor to be certain that your rectal probe is improperly grounded so as to deliver an electrical shock roughly the equivalent of what we humans refer to as a "cattle prod".

YEEHAW!!!!

Bruce