Ooh, look out - here comes the essay.

I honestly don't know if I'd hang around or join. I came here in the midst of the the Catspaw crisis. I found a bunch of truly kind people. The place was full of musical savants as well as wit and warmth. The discussions were uplifting. We seemed to respect one another more - maybe because we didn't know each other well enough to have gotten on each other's nerves, maybe because we tried to show our best side here. I don't know.

I don't care for the political discussions. I didn't mind them previously and would occasionally join in. Of course, there were usually only a couple going on at any given time and they seemed secondary to the music. Now, it seems like some people only come to show off debating skills and see how many times they can rephrase the same ideas. Seems like the rule of the day is, if you don't know squat about music, have no sense of humor, dislike people in general but have a desperate need to be heard, you can still talk politics. It's about ego, not communication.

The sort of things that grew out of Mudcat have withered. Annamill's gatherings and other types of personal meetings and events just don't happen anymore - at least not with the same frequency and the same carefree feeling. You'd invite folks to your house who share a love of music. You don't want to get together with those you've been saying nasty things about in the latest bitch thread(s).

I know some of the folks I've told about Mudcat come in and look and leave without a second thought. Seems like the people who stay are those who either have a history here they don't want to give up, are hanging around waiting for the occasional gem or just like fighting.

As to the "we discussed that before" thing, I've seen it happen in real life and on newsgroups. I think the way it's supposed to work is new folks come and learn (or already know). Eventually, the same questions are asked but someone new answers. I think here, many of the newcomers aren't that interseted in folk music so they don't learn, know or care. The same folks often asnwer the same question over and over. Of course, it may just be a perception. The old-timers may just think they have to answer a question because they answered it the last time. They may not believe anyone else will jump in.

I sound awfully cynical. I just don't think there's much that would hold my attention if I just found it today, but it's hard to say. Can I imagine how I'd see Mudcat with fresh eyes or am I unable to separate myself from memories of the way the place was? I'm glad for the fact I came when I did. The feeling changes, the types of people who hang out here and the people themselves change. What I've learned about music, myself and life in general have changed me forever. The friends I've met here - some whom I know casually and some whom I love dearly - have changed me forever. Nothing ever stays the way we want it to but I think I miss the way Mudcat once was so much because it gave me so much.