I didn't get Christmas cards from either Conrad Bladey OR George Bush Jr!!!! Man, am I feeling left out! ARRGH!

But I have a suggestion of my own: Why not this year EVERYBODY (you know, the people Conrad sends Christmas cards to?)...yes, absolutely E-V-E-R-Y-BODY send a Christmas gift of *one penny* to the Nigerian scam artist of your choice...hell, to all of 'em...

Nigerian scam artists need love too. Think of how lonely it gets sitting in some seedy apartment in Lagos, churning out thousands and thousands of emails to people who are too hardhearted to even respond to a generous offer to share $30 million dollars for a few simple formalities. Think of the pain of countless rejections! Think of the despair and bereftitude in Nigeria!

So I say, show some interest in what they have to offer, ask how you can help, what you can do, whom you should contact...get all the info...and then send 'em a penny (a nice, bright, shiny one) along with an autographed picture of William Shatner jumping rope in the nude, with Conrad holding one end of the rope and Dubya holding the other. (Okay, Spaw? How's that?)

It's time we brought a little Christmas spirit to Nigeria. You can make it retroactive to 2002 or just wait till next year, assuming Dubya has not invaded Nigeria by then in search of "terrorists" or weapons of mass destruction...

- LH