Well Conrad, since you haven't responded with the apprpopriate date of National Asshole Day, I took it upon myself to do a web search and found that according to this site it appears to be November 7.
I will send you a card or two then if you like, gawd knows you're the biggest asshole I know. I also checked the forum and google for your addy and I found the same one and I was wondering if my cards and those from other members can still reach you at: PO Box 268, Linthicum, MD, 21090? I hope many of us will join in and make your special day even more special.