"What the hell?!" Snorted Numnutz, awakening on his rugged pallet. Around the three travelers treble clefs were gaping and belching fire. Hole notes were opening, and Fret had to scramble like a bodhran-beater on meth to avoid being swallowed up by one. "I don't understand it!" Shouted Kendalf. "The forecast called for chances of light rain mixed with possible sprinklings of quarternotes...nothing like this!" The three gathered their belongings and sprinted under a tree, which was immediately split by a tumbling distaff. "Over there!" yelled the Wizard, gesturing toward a dark shadow against a sheer cliff face. "A cave!"

Soon they were seated on the floor of the dank orifice, dripping, breathless, deafened by the cacophony from without. The wizard gazed at the blank cave wall, then suddenly stood erect. Passing his hand before the wall, some dim scratchings which had seemed nothing more than imperfections in the natural rock suddenly began to glow as if with green fire. "See you this?" Intoned Kendalf with sonorous and dramatic inversion. They could then make out the inscription, written as it were in Old High Elvish...

Ia felbereth Milthoniel
silivren flanne purina
dadeu ron ron
dadeu ron ron

Kendalf mouthed the words and shook his head. "I cannot ken it," he said in the lowland scots vernacular he was wont to adopt in moments of stress. "Fret, look you in my pack and find my English/Elvish Phrase book." The miniscule piker did this, soon producing a small bound volume. Kendalf leafed through this, then staggered back, the book falling to the rude cave floor. "What is it?" Mouthed his shorter companions in astounding unison. Kendalf covered his eyes with his hands and said "oh lads! We have stumbled into the lair of the Gurlgroops!"

"What..what are they?" Whispered Numnutz.

"They go by many names. The horrible Shangrulas. The bestial Soopreems. The unholy Marvulets. But worst of all..."

A sudden violent flash of lightning filled the cave throwing their shadows against the wall, and disclosing a tall ghastly figure, hands extended toward them like hungry talons, hair twisted and stacked, its red gash of a mouth working overtime. The three travelers stood aghast as Kendalf completed his sentence fragment...

"Yes worst of all my little friends. THE RONNIE SPECTER!"