There is a very high probability that the infamous Dave Kenningham (or one of his look-a-likes) will be at the:

                               TUDOR BARN, Well Hall Pleasance, Eltham

                                                       on

                                  Wednesday 15th January (tomorrow)

Will all his hundreds of fans, please form an orderly queue at the door.
We suggest you wear sun-glasses as the light reflecting off his pate can cause blindness.