So many tendrils to this thread. Rick, I agree with GUEST--the context is everything, and that link posted to the Snopes site was a good analysis of the issue. We all feel like we could use a "wife."

Bobert, though this may sound counter-intuitive, it sounds like your wife is a perfectionist. The trouble arises when you can't put things just the way you want them, you tend not to do them at all. I think this is my M.O., but I fight it all of the time. I was in graduate school for a long time and I have tons of paper from classes and essays I wrote. I had a multi-tiered system for a while because stuff was put into storage a few years ago and I had to restart some of the files (no access to the stored stuff, but I always remembered it was there and always planned to integrate the files and stacks). I was also a freelance writer and have lots of files and clippings and sample copies. And somewhere, under the clutter, there's a book about uncluttering the place.

Part of the problem was the space I lived in before. There wasn't enough of it. No room for the number of bookshelves I wanted, or the file cabinets I needed. I now have enough room, but have to build the shelves myself. I'll get there. I took everything out of storage and it completely filled my garage in August. (I built this garage last spring and had an attic built in to help avoid the future use of storage lockers. I now also keep the $125 a month that I was paying to store this stuff in two different places). You can understand that I'm on the road to recovery when I tell you that over the holiday break (I work at a university so had 12 days off) I slaved out there and I can now park my truck in my garage. The stuff had to go somewhere, and much of it is in the house, but I've found places for it (it's estate stuff like furniture and utensils comingled with many of my own boxes of books). There is a neat row of boxes in the garage still, stuff I can't bring in yet.

I hate the piles of paper, but that's the default system. I would be livid if someone presumed to come in and clean them up for me, so take if from me, focus your assistance in a different way. While you're over at Office Depot, pick up a few of the cardboard file boxes with lids, and bring them home. Or better yet, some of the plastic boxes with an edge so you can use hanging file folders. Take them home and suggest categories for them, then use stickers and a marker and label them clearly. Don't get too fancy, just have the open boxes, and go through a few piles an evening, dropping paid bills in one box, owners manuals in another, clippings in yet another, and where you can, move stacks around so you have the appearance of more space in the room. Success breeds success, and though it's hard to clear it out and hard to maintain, this foray into good housekeeping might just make the difference. I just finished building in some shelves in the closet of my office, and I'm putting the various class notes and essays up in general categories. I plan to thin these down one day, and I do plan to publish a few of the essays, and I'll get to that once I finish remodeling the house. For the first time in my life I feel like I can get to those projects.

Every few months I go through and put all of the paid bills away in a vertical file. Lately I've been pulling out stuff so old I can't possibly use it (and it isn't old enough to donate to a museum). Bobert, I have to ask you a question. Your stuff may be neat, but it may be considered by some compulsive that you still HAVE your 1983 tax return. Why are you still keeping it? Whether or not you can find it in 30 seconds, unless you think this is something that will benefit future generations to see how you lived and where your income went, only keep those tax returns for 7 years. I have things that date back further than that because they were significant from when I was married, and I might need them to document future claims, but there is only so much of that kind of stuff that you need to keep. I think you should set the example for your wife by pulling out your really old files and shredding them (and though I hate to shop at Walmart, the cross-cutting shredder sounds like a great value and is a better way to discard old papers than just making ribbons of them).

Good luck, both of you!

SRS "My name is Maggie and I'm a packrat..."