It was one of those occasions when time stretched itself thin, everything slowed, and sounds distorted. Like trying, but failing, to run from the oncoming freight train in a recurring nightmare.

I'd asked Pam, the bodhran playing, wildlife wrestling, lady-like lady of my life to meet the East Bay 'cats at Quinn's.

Arriving before Pam, I took a seat in the pew next to Fadac. Fadac is a man of substance. Kind, clever, outgoing and garden variety big. As he made a point, Fadac emphasisied it with a casual wave which seemed to take hours in its arc across the table. Half way through the swing of his lordly paw, Fadac connected with the top of his pint glass.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale is known for its balance of hops and malt, and its sturdy head. I watched that head sketch a tsunami as it crossed the table, seemingly at glacial speed, towards 'Seed, his harps and cameras. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT" said Fadac, sounding like the elephant seals declaring their love on the beach at Ano Neuvo.

'Seed looked like a living tableau of The Scream as the beer headed his way and he realized that there was no way in the world to keep his cameras clean, his harps tuned, or his crotch dry. All six-foot-white-haired-six of Kratz trying to push back the tide.

I leapt.Like Bruce Lee with a bad sound track, I howled on my way over the table. Turning in mid air, I faced the deluge with mouth open. Raised to believe that wasted beer is a sin, I had to act. Peanut shells cracked on the floor as I hit my knees. Like Jimmy Binks in the music hall song, or a greek dancer about to do his show stopper,I had the whole end of the table in my mouth when Pam walked in.

"Oh i oney. ust elling eep eed's cuff dry."

Besides being tall and looking distinguished, ' Seed is genuinely courtly. "He says he's keeping my stuff dry. As you can see, not a drop spilled. Cameras and harmonicas in tact. What a pal."

Fadac had risen like a zepplin to kiss my wife's hand. "Charmed my dear. A Guinness?"

I sat on the floor reviewing my dental coverage and wondering how to get the stretch marks out of my moustache.

The 'catters acquitted themselves admirably and made my wife welcome. Now if I can just get this varnish out of my teeth, perhaps I can explain that it was only selfless dedication to my friends which had me lapping beer off a barroom floor.