mary garvey
You asked "Did fiancee do a number on you or was it a case of her realizing that the relationship was not one she could continue in, and let you down as gently as possible?"

It isn't so easy. On October 7 I thought we were on track to be married and that made me happy. Late that night she took 33 sleeping pills and we spent the rest of that evening and the next day in the hospital. That night she kicked me out and said it was over. I do not know why and I cannot guess at what happened to make her take such a drastic step. She certainly didn't let me down easy.
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There are a lot of comments regarding what I can do differently in the future. I would be first in line to recognize that it takes two to break up a relationship. Unfortunately I need some input from her to tune me in to what I did or didn't do. Perhaps if she had said something, anything, I could have made changes to improve things. As it is, I just don't know so I am left to assume I was either innocent or so damn guilty that she had to resort to suicide to get clear of me. The other theory that I have been entertaining is that she did it deliberately, waiting till I was truly hooked and then dropping me like a hot rock.

A few months after I lost my previous love to another man she and I managed to have a series of email conversations that explained what happened. I was able to make some changes in my attitude and approach. I have written several times to my ex-fiancee but she remains silent. Without input I can only guess as to what happened.
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The debts and the loss of the house are my own fault. I made decisions based on the fact that we would be living together. I also missed some important filing dates for my daughter's financial aid because I let my fiancée distract me from what is truly important. Again, my own damn fault.
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Sinsull
You wrote: "…Maybe it will help to take a close look at all three relationships and try to figure out the common factors. It could simply be that you are attracted to people who are not capable of loving you as you need to be loved. If you can identify the immediate attraction trigger, you will then know who is to be avoided. Of course, that means that you you will probably have to forego that intense "instant gratification" honeymoon time and concentrate on developing long term friendships that may (or may not) lead to commitment."

I know there is at least one common factor between the different relationships and that is me. I think all three women were quite different from each other. The last two were very different from my wife and that one lasted 17 years! However the last several years were pretty hard.