Figuring out how to let go of it is the trick. I have never been able to easily let go of anything, either emotional or physical. I still have regrets about relationships that go back through the ages. I hope that's normal.

I try to convince myself that she left because she couldn't deal with what was in her head. I try to believe that there was no other possible outcome. I try to believe that I am better off now than that she is gone. And some day I will get there.

And all is not lost. Today I am feeling better. I am happier and more energetic. I fear it's only temporary but it may not be. I may be looking forward to my trip to California.