ROFLMAO!

Here's a few from my mom:

"He hasn't got a pot to pee in!" (shiftless and improvident...)
"He hopped on that like a chicken on a June bug."
"I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off." (very busy, disorganized)
"He called her everything but a lady." (insults)
... and my favorite, "Uglier than home made sin."

Rita