Who pissed in your gravy? (What got you upset?)
Even a blind hog roots-up a few acorns. (Any fool gets lucky
    eventually)
Hold your horses!!!! (Slow down).
Ain't that the cat's pajamas. (Not much to it).
Rougher than a cob. (reference to using corncobs in lieu of toilet
    tissue).
All hat. (Big hatted, self-important, pompous person).
Can't find his ass with both hands. (incompetent).