The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #11785   Message #89468
Posted By: Roger in Baltimore
24-Jun-99 - 06:31 PM
Thread Name: Falling in Love with Mudcatters
Subject: RE: Falling in Love with Mudcatters
I think the Mudcat is a sheltered community. When I think about meeting other 'Catters, I think "Man, I can't be that witty spontaneously, what will they think?" I do put some thought into many of my replies (and hardly any into some others). I enjoy that editing and like Annap, I have written and erased some replies. I believe I would be less verbose in person.

When several of us met at Rick's concert in D.C., I think we enjoyed singing best. The question was asked if we wanted to chat, but many said, "We can do that on the Mudcat, but we can't sing together there". For me, and perhaps for others, it also felt better not trying to sort out the Mudcatter from the real person.

I suspect that several people whom I enjoy on the 'Cat I would not enjoy so much in person. Of some of them I am quite sure about that. I also suspect there are others I would truly enjoy if I were to meet them. I am probably wrong about some of them in each case. However, it is the presence of Mudcatters that will bring me to the Getaway in DC in October.

My experience in Al-Anon is that as we first find a comfortable place to tell our story pretty much as it really is and we find that some people still like us despite our wounds and glitches. It becomes easy to "love" the people who accept us and to mistake that "love" with romantic love. It is one of those other definitions of love that we experience when we are accepted as we are. I think I've learned to sort those two out even if I don't have names for them.

So, Matthew, it doesn't surprise me that you or someone else "fell in love". People have met through the World Wide Web, fell in love and married. Others have gone to their deaths thinking it was "love". Caution is in order, but the reaction is natural. You ain't crazy (at least no more so than the usual human being).

Roger in Baltimore