I have it from reliable sources that George W. Bush actually has no penis at all, but a length (a short one, but a length) of bratwurst. Dubya's penis was bitten off by the family border collie soon after his birth, tragically. The family physician suggested a trip to a clinic in Europe (all those stories from the liberal news media about how our president never once visited Europe before he was, uh, elected? Don't believe 'em).

This surrogate penis of pale spiced meat was given him in exchange for his father's balls in East Berlin many years ago. The family thought it worth the sacrifice, for reasons we may never understand. This explains a lot.

(well, since it was getting so nothing factual was being posted in here anyway...)