Dear Doctor Guitar,

Like Clueless Clyde above, I learned my basic guitar chords from a Mel Bay chord book - the old ones with actual photos of Mel Bay himself dressed in a suit so brown that you could tell it was brown even in the black and white photos - demonstrating the chords on his D'Angelico New Yorker. As a result of untold hours spent poring over those photos, I have a strange compulsion to dress up in a brown suit, striped tie, and long-sleeved white dress shirt with cufflinks at any time that I get the urge to play guitar. As I am semi-retired and spend most of my time at home, the urge to play guitar strikes me twenty or thirty times a day. Being both a potter and an avid gardener, staying dressed in my Mel Bay wardrobe all day long is probably not a good idea. The constant changing of clothes is taking huge amounts of time out of my typical day, not to mention the fact that I have had to take out a second mortgage on my house to keep up with the dry-cleaning bill. I would actually be willing to put up with this affliction if a New Yorker came along with it at no extra charge, but, so far, it has not materialized. Any suggestions?

Sincerely,

The Guy in the Brown Suit