Dear C.L. Uless,

You are absolutely correct that there is an entirely different set of chords known as "bar chords" used specifically for playing in bars. They differ from conventional chords in that they allow one to maintain a vice-like grip on one's guitar while playing. This is particularly advantageous when playing in a bar and some drunk jack-ass dick-weed attempts to snatch one's guitar out of one's hand so he can play "Sweet Home Alabama".

"Bar chords" should not be confused with "barre chords". "Barre chords" are to be used exclusively while providing music for ballet dancers who are practicing at the barre. For optimum effect, barre chords should be played while standing on one's tiptoes and wearing skimpy, revealing, clingy, filmy diaphanous costumes that reveal every.......

Pardon me. Doctor Dreadnought must go take a cold shower now.

Sincerely,

Dr. OM Dreadnought