This is a pretty funny absurd mix of interesting observations! I guess I'm a cowardly lion about stirring up trouble though.

I always thought being bi would help one's odds, and it was exactly that remark that prompted my co-worker to launch into an attack. A friend of mine was seeing a bisexual bipolar person, and coined the terms a "Bi-bi", or "bi and bi", for the combination. Is that mean? Aw shucks.

Speaking of both perversity and French, after awhile I learned to run the few French phrases I knew all blurrily together, with the result that when I said I couldn't speak French, people kept speaking it to me, in disbelief. So I went back to overpronouncing everything. Young people all knew English from songs, so if you were fluent in old Beatle lyrics you could communicate. Oddly, Beatle's songs seemed to cover every situation I encountered.