This version comes from a mysterious source, whose identify I am sworn not to reveal. I think maybe his wife wouldn't like it...
-Joe Offer, who married a beautiful woman-

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^^
Always Marry An Ugly Girl

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
My brother married an ugly girl, the family got uptight
They had a formal wedding, they painted the shotgun white

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
My cousin married an ugly girl, really had it made
Every night when she undressed, the neighbors pulled the shade

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
Uncle married an ugly girl, she drank from a special cup
She had a great big upper lip, but the lower lip covered it up

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
You make love with an ugly girl, she never wants to quit
Cause she thinks that it's the last that she'll ever get

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind

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Several sources indicate that there's a recording of "Always Marry an Ugly Girl" by Al Batten and the Bluegrass Reunion, but I was unable to find a name of a songwriter for this song. Is it traditional?
-Joe-