There was a young lady from Wick
Who said "Mother , What is a prick"
She said "Its a rissole you stuff up your piss'ole
and waggle about till it's sick"

There was a young lady from Ealing
who danced with such exquisite feeling.
that the only clear sound to be heard for miles around
was fly buttons hitting the ceiling.

There was a young chap from Montrose
who wanked underneath the bed clothes
Said his mother with joy "he's a broth of a boy",
"But he's a bugger for blowing his nose