Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A
small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the
birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if
that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of Ash I have ever put my pecker in."

Hey, at least it's punny.

At a pub in Ireland, a newcomer visits and orders three Guinness, sits alone in the rear, drinks them, repeats this three times and leaves, every night for a week. The bartender finally asks why he drinks this way. He replies that his two brothers emmigrated and all agreed that they would always drink this way to continue the bond with the others. After a month or so, the fellow continues the routine but orders only two Guinness each time. After a few nights, urged on by curious patrons who are concerned that the fellow has obviously lost a brother, the bartender approaches the fellow and offers condolences. The fellow replies, "No. No. No. Both of my brothers are fine. I've just given up the drink for lent."