Naah, Allan C/Mrs Duck, not Essex or Virginia, I am talking REAL South, as in "Southern Europe", the land of the Mediterranean pine, earthquakes, gold medallions on sun-bronzed chests, retsina (what a giveaway) and old ladies in black. The land of real men (you HAVE to be a real man, if you're wearing a pleated skirt and bobbles on your shoes). OK, so I'm a reject from that land, as I look nothing like any of the above; but I prefer to think of myself as a cultural ambassador...

As for Yorkshire pud - isn't that the frozen stuff you get at Tescos? Nice fingerbowls, but they get soggy after a while. But I shouldn't tease - I am ready and very willing to be taught the comparative benefits of northern fare, adding to my heretofore patchy knowledge.

Joking aside - really looking forward to it!