... beheld the bunyip, lagerphone held menacingly in his left hand. To Big Mick he cried (learning the local lingo fast), "Release the wee faery, for I have a prior claim, or be prepared to fight a lagerphone duel. As you appear to lack such a fine weapon you must start making it. Begin your drinking now. Be warned: the shiny metal pieces must be marked with the sign of Foster's or other antipodean equivalent. Use of metal pieces bearing the mark of Guinness will result in an inferior lagerphone, rendering the owner impot... er defenceless against the skills of Terra Australis Incognito."

To the faery he said, "I'll take you away from all this. I'll show you a land where it is not incessantly grey wet and cold. Where the sun shines long and you wear shirts of the style "tee" in winter and even less in summer. A land that is the mecca of marching bands the world over."

As Big Mick was struck speechless by the wonderful oration of the Bunyip the faery spoke up and said.......