Hello there I'm from Oz just backpacking around the North of England and someone at the Youth Hostel told me there was a dance. I've always liked a bit of dancing so I said I'd go. We arrived at this hall and there was a band of muso's playing jiggy type tunes. All these folks were dancing about in a kind of pattern and someone said to me, "Do you know how to do Kylie dancing?"
Well in two shakes of a wallaby's tail I was in the middle of the dance floor, lowering my shorts and bending over to reveal a nifty pair of purple lace trollies. Shock! Horror! The band stopped playing, there was a deafening silence, someone tittered and a woman fainted... One of the guys from the band leapt from the stage crying, "Stop, you've got it all wrong, not Kylie dancing, Ceilidh dancing!!"
By then my cheeks(?) were flushed red with embarrassment and shame. Seeing my distress, the Pom from the band ripped off his violently patterned shirt and quickly tied it round my waist. "How can I ever thank you" I cried. Shyly holding his guitar in front of him in a futile attempt to hide his holey vest, he replied, "Just call me your Tyke in Shining Armour".