Anyone familiar with the "one-point-program" concept? If a group gathers for a single, generally-understood purpose, it's a bad idea (and poor manners) to bring your own one-point, all-the-time, everywhere-you-go agenda and try to run that agenda on the people gathered around the one-point program..... these people, who come to "work the room," are NOT there to share the agenda of the greater group. Often they are destructive of what has taken a lot of time and effort to build up.... and it doesn't take long for the group to push them out, for the sake of protecting to their one-point program.

It's not just that thing we agree to call "proselytizing." It's equally common and unpleasant to find someone temporarily dominating a group, when that person's agenda is any of the following:

1. I'm here to showcase 3 songs from my new CD and tell you where I am playing next week, and I hope you will want to some see and buy my music.

2. I'm here to audition for bookings cuz I heard booking agents come here to hang out and just play.

3. I'm here to have a quick meeintg with the old regulars at this song circle, cuz we are all putting on the annual festival next month and we need to get the volunteers lined up, and we donwanna have a meeeeeeeetingggggggg.........

4. I'm here to socialize ONLY with people I identify as "mygroup," and if they aren't wearing Birkenstocks (or whatever clothing identifies the members of the elite), you're invisible. Possibly dangerous.

5. I'm here to promote world peace, right now, as I see it, or else.

6. I'm here to get away from those nasty [insert group of choice, including "proselytizing Christians"] against whom I have built up quite a bit of bias and about whom I have made some rigid long-term decisions so they don't control pore lil ole MEEEEEEEEE....

7. I'm here to get laid. If you are wearing pants and are willing to consider taking them off, can I sit next to you????

8. I'm here because my recovery depends on me getting what I neeeeed here, and I wish I had something to give but, frankly, I don't.


.... and more.

Seen 'em all. Done a few myself. Oh well. :~)

In our rural county, a very smart person told me right after we arrived, "This is a big county geographically but a small one in numbers, and word travels fast. If you aren't going to get along, that's usually figured out pretty fast. It's pretty hard to hide here. You have no choice but to be (and be seen to be) yourself." She was right. Go to something trying to work the room, and you are.... considered worthless. The circle closes, and you ain't in it.

~Susan