What a long strange trip it's been
I stopped about a mile from the fireworks, figured I better pull over and fill up the playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons. I was running late and wanted to hurry and get there before the fireworks went off. Pulling that cotton candy cart loaded with sugar and helium had really slowed me down.
I'm getting the playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons blown up and I'm tying them to the cart. I've got about 85 blown up and as I attach the 86th playmate Paul doll with projectile penis balloon to the cart, the cart starts to lift up off of the ground.
I grad ahold of the handlebars of the moped just as it is lifting off and I climb on the moped and settle it back down. I'm thinking shit, I have a little problem here, I better take that last playmate Paul doll with projectile penis balloon off and get on down the road.
So I jump off the moped, and the damn cart takes off up into the air again, only this time a big gush of wind blows up right at the same time and sends my cart and moped right up. I grab hold of the handlebars and now I'm going right up with it.
There I am, dangling from my moped that was hanging from my cotton candy cart that was attached to 86 playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons. I thinking oh yeah good one, I just 86ed myself right the hell out of here.
Here I am, about 200 feet up into the air when I float over the fireworks. I can see them going off before I even get over them, but when I get there I watch from above all kinds of commotion going on down below. I am floating right above the whole thing.
Ever heard of hail Mary's? well, it was hailing Mary's all around me. Then suddenly this rocket that resembled Jesus shoots up out of nowhere, it's balls a-flaming and it shoots right into my playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons. That was just enough to push me into some high jet air stream, and I took off like a jet.
I'm climbing higher and I'm thinking I have to do something real soon or I'll be out of breathable air, so I came up with a plan.
I start to climb up my moped and into the cotton candy cart. Like I said, I had plenty of sugar and I'm thinking I am going to make a shit-load of cotton candy, wrap it aroud my body for cushion then start popping those playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis ballooons and lower myself down to earth.
So I start whipping up the cotton candy and I'm wrapping it around my body. I'm looking like a big pink puffball. I have to reach out and grab hold of the strings attached to the playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons.
I'm pretty sure I have enough cushion, so I pull down a playmate Paul doll with projectile penis balloon and grab hold of the dick and give it a prick with a knife, that I had in the cart. The penis explodes when I prick it, and the playmate Paul doll with projectile penis ballooon deflates in like a second, and the cart, the moped, me and 85 playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons, jolt and start decending at a rate of speed I was not very comfortable with.
Acting fast, I grab the strings attached to the playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons, wrap the strings around my wrist, roll out of the cart window,(lucky the window was big enough for me to fit through being I was a big pink ball of cotton candy) and I cut the strings off of the cart.
My cart and moped go sailing down to earth, and I shoot up. I cut away 5 playmate Paul dolls with projectile penis balloons, then 5 more and I am decending! 5 more, 5, more until I'm at about tree level and as luck would have it I'm in a clearing, so like a stupid shit I cut them all away and go falling to earth.
Well I fell fast and hard to the ground and all that cotton candy stopped my fall but flattens out and I rolled and that cotton candy, well how can I say this? It bonded with me. So I lay there wondering if I'm alive, the cotton candy was like flat and compacted to me and it's hard to move but I manage to stand up and start looking around.
I can hear cars and I know I'm close to a road so I walk to the sound. I walk right past my cart and moped all smashed to hell. I get out on the road and try to wave a car down. All these cars are going by me and pointing and laughing and waving back at me.
With a little more luck on my side, I walked about 1/4 mile and there was a service station. I go into the bathroom, look into the mirror, and here, that cotton candy had formed around me and flattened out up above my head and it gave the appearance of two large rabbit ears. Well shit, people must have thought I was a flipping pink marshmallow Easter bunny just walking down the road waving for shits and giggles.
I started to peel the stuff off and washed myself as good as I could, I walk outside and a little more luck on my side, the gas station was also a Grayhound bus depot. I bought myself a ticket, straight to Minnesota. Ended up having Easter dinner in some greasy spoon in Wisconson, just pulling in and had to let you know I survived.
Thanks for asking Carol. Oh and one more thing Carol, thanks alot for starting that damn Spaw birthday thread!
Peace Rustic