I don't think it's a good idea to lend an instrument to strangers. There is a famous rock star who I used to know that would borrow a guitar to do his set and proceed to bang the hell out of it.

I might loan it to someone who I really know is a good musician and would give it proper respect. There was a fiddler who picked up my guitar without permission once. So I picked up his expensive fiddle and started to play along.

As to "rules", they may not work. You have to create the right environment. Unfortunately, you gotta' know the players otherwise you might be in for some bad surprises. I've determined this over years of experience in dealing with musical groups. When they come in "off the street" you are open for problems. At the same time, exclusivity isn't what folk music is about either. But for the good of the group, you have to know the problem folks and either communicate with them outside of the group or don't invite 'em in.

The best musicians are the ones that are very sensitive to the group experience in music. Showboats are not the best musicians. They haven't learned about what it takes to make music even though they may be virtuosos (fast fingers or technique). Leadership is really being a facilitator to get things happening rather than being bossy or having an agenda. The best musicians are ones that use music to facilitate. Witness Pete Seeger leading an audience. He gets it happening in a jam session too! Everybody has a chance.

Bad manners at session mirror bad manners in social relations. I'm sure we all know people that we would prefer not to have at a party.

One thing I think would help and that is to be clear on what kind of a jam it is. A sing-a-round is different than say a slow jam. Some jams emphasize group singing and harmonies, others, individual performances that are shared.

My view has to do with focus. If someone is leading a song, then they are the ones to be primarilly supported and everyone else takes a supporting role. That's the good music manners in my book.

Frank Hamilton