Dear King khandu,

Jus' thought Ah'd pop in 'n give yer Royal Highness a update on th' moovee thet is bein' made uv ma life story.

Them Hollywood fellers hav assured me thet thay will begin workin' on th' movie as soon as thay are released on th' parole thay 'spect t' git at their hearin' on Monday. In th' meantime, thay need 'bout ten thousand dollars fer lawyers' fees thet thay 'spect t' inkur in hirin' all them stars t' play us in th' moovee 'n such. If you cud loan me th' munny, Ah'm purty shur thet Banderas playin' Yer Highness is a shur thing. If not, do you hav Artbrooks's fone number. Them perducer fellers is purty shur thay kin git John Travolta t' play hiz part fer about five grand.

Yer Knower of Things