My Dere Aynt Bee,

I hab read yore epistol wif great chagrin and wuld like to extent my utmost symphonies to you. My sweet wiff habv also noticed my own eclectric behabiour obv late and haz taken to sitting in front of a fine fountain/buzzard trough thet me and the daughter got her from Big Lotts. She no longer worries about the habf eaten plates of food and other lidder accumulatle at the computee deks but only passes by and I heer a liddle "hheeeeee" sound to come from her, but it iz sort of from down inside summwhar and not at all natchl sounding thez days.

At least she semes farly happy watching the buzzards wash they butts in her new fountain and iz mos' serene now. Mebbe the Royal Pomade Lariat culd find a smimilar objay dart at a BigfLott's near yore place. Ef not I wuld by happy to check ar store heer and see ef thar may be one left wif most ob the peces in the box. Feal free to PM me ef thar iz anything I may do.

Fafefully Yers,
Tweed
F.K.O.T.R.O.T.A.A.T.G.A.P.A.E
(Former Knight of the Realm of Tupelo and All Things Good and Pure and Ethereal)