" other than that,i can say that pursuing music as a profession has brought me nothing but debt,poverty and the company of idiots."

Dave, maybe try marketing yourself as a "Boy Toy". You know - teach your lips the pucker-pout, bat your eyelashes, wear a little spandex (as little as possible without risking arrest), bare your navel, stick out your chest enough to throw your vertebrae out of alignment, wave your butt enticingly, practice navigating your newly-transformed and *oh-so-sexy* self around the stage in 10-inch heels etc.

Might help out with the money thing (just ask Madonna!), and as far as the company goes - if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!   

;)    daylia