Okay Steve......here we go.

The first was on a shortish, dogleg hole at the OSU gray course when I was a senior in high school. I got off a very decent drive that actually made it slightly "round the bend." I have never played fairway woods worth a damn, but Cary Founds, my partner, suggested I at least try. By the time we got to my ball he had me convinced and since his second shot was pretty nice, I figured what the hell, it was worth a try to make the green. All I remember was whacking the living shit out of the ball with a 3 wood and watching the damn thing take a bit of a sideways bounce just short of the green. When it rolled across and holed out I was dumbfounded. Seriously, I just stood there like I was in shock or something. Cary is going nuts and ran over to me acting absolutely berserk, but I was just incredulous that I had actually hit a 3 wood out of the fairway that didn't embarass me.

The second one was funny. It was 1977, the summer before the blizzard which was one of our driest summers ever. The same three guys I mentioned in the other post and I were playing different courses every week. We played on a Sunday up at Marion which turned into the round we talked about most after the year was over. Not because it was so great, but because it was so bad and funnier than hell. This course is in the flatlands and completely unremarkable. Add to this that that it was August and a drought and it was like playing on asphalt. The greens were brown, the rough was dead grass, the fairways were dusty even!!! The city had given up on the place entirely by that point.

The first several holes we played very well, but we were behind a foursome old folks who played vveerrryyy slowly. We should have stayed behind them. On the fifth I smacked a drive that rolled forever and trickled off into the mess of dead grass passing as rough. This hole was straight and as I recall about 510 or 520. I didn't hit a great drive, but the damn thing just bounced and rolled forever and a day. Looking at it, I honestly thought I could make the green with 2 iron easily. Bob was in about the same shape and was a good hitter and he too took a 2 iron which proceeded to bounce and roll right across the "green" and on for a few more yards. We got to laughing of course and I decided I'd lay up with a nice 5 iron.......and the damn thing bounced and bounced and rolled and rolled.....and rolled in!!! Seriously, we were all on the ground just cracking up. There is no way a driver and a five would get within 150 yards of that green during normal times, but when you play on asphalt.........

The round went downhill after that. We played a few more holes pretty fairly, but the foursome in front was so damn slow....Afterwards we thought it was a lesson in taking your time and playing thoughtfully, because when they waved us through on 8, we really rushed the hole and moved on quickly. They were really nice folks and as we passed we said thanks and "we'll get through as quickly as possible" and all of that. Anyway we rushed it and it was awful. This made nine even worse out of frustration and when we turned onto the back nine it really got bad. Playing poorly was a part of it as was the now apparent fact that you had no idea where the ball was going! When they hit, they might bounce in any direction. Bruce hit a shot that on the second bounce took a damn near 90 degree turn to the right and behind some half dead pine trees. You couldn't get under anything because there wasn't enough grass. The greens were impossible, like playing minature golf. All that was missing was a windmill and a clown face.

So now by 13 or 14 we're just screwing around and laughing the whole thing off. This of course led to golf jokes and psych games. Bob was particularly susceptible to this classic old crap, but when we came to a tee with a creek at least 25 yards off the fairway, I made a point of saying, "Whatever you do, stay away from that crick." Bob says, "Enough of the bullshit Pat, that crick is a mile away." "Yeah," I replied, "but you never know." Bob was a straight hitter and any other time he'd have had no problem. But we're all razzing him now and he of course puts it in the creek. Now we're all just completely screwing around and talking about this lousy, dried out, crappy-ass course which somehow led to the idea that you might as well play the whole thing with a putter. So............

The next hole we did. And the hole after that. Ever try to chip with a putter? Anyway, we quit on the 16th or so and headed home stopping for refreshments along the way!

Spaw