Liz, if you read an excellent book called The Tao of Pooh, The Té of Piglet (may be two books, actually) you'll find the Bear says "lots of people talk to animals, but not any of them listen"; which I've always found to be a Good Thing to remember.

Vis-à-vis "pretending to read Dickens", I find I forget about 60% of what I read. Lady Isobel Barnett (or one of those upper-crust literary types) said a poor memory is a great asset for a voracious reader, as you can read the same book several times and still get something new out of it.

And I don't have a problem with my lowly origins: my grandfater was a cobbler who spoke nothing but thick Brummie; my father was a thick Brummie who spoke nothing but cobblers. (We really come from Bloxwich in Staffordshire, but that doesn't work.)

Steve