Shambles, I hunt them in a local wood on an old claypit site, where they inhabit the old wooded fringe and some grazed grassy areas. There are a good number of sites still, and I should think, from the map I have in a book, that you have a few in your neck of the chalk.

I have now seen the film. I am not impressed. The crowd scenes (computer generated) are out of focus - the same was true in the Mummy). There is an absence of plot, and more particularly, counter plot. There are no complex characters. There is not enough dialogue to explain what plot there is. Jar Jar is irritating, probably based on old racist stereotypes, but also on the idea that stupidity and clumsiness are funny. The dealer may be a Jewish stereotype, but not so obviously. The battle droids are clearly useless - presumably why Palpatine later recruits storm-troopers. The best shot, of the Gungans emerging from the mist, looks as though it came from a samurai movie. Anakin is too sweet and young. I know what children his age can do in technology.... and Amidala is too mature for this relationship to develop as we are supposed to believe it will. Darth Maul is not seen being nasty to anyone before taking on the Jedi, so it's hard to believe he is evil. If Lucas wants to follow the hero patterns, he needs a more comples relationship with his mother - she should try to hold him back. As it is, what the Jedi suggest of it being a problem doesn't make sense. There are not enough events, the narrative isn't as dense as the previous films, and many details are not explained. In the Jedi/Sith fight, I have no idea why there were force fields where they were fighting, for example. People hardly spoke at all. The world does not seem to be consistent with that in the books. Is it fair for two Jedi to fight one man?

The star fields are not so good - too uniform, so the galaxy probably would not work. As before, the planets, except the wooded ones, would not work as habitable places. Planets do not have aqueous cores. Qui Jon said that all the stars had planet systems, which is extremely unlikely - OK, I was there with a planetary geologist/astrobiologist studying habitability, so this was a special interest complaint. But if the story really worked, would I be noticing these things? Genetically there is something odd about the Skywalkers. Dark mother has blond son with no father, due to action of some form of mitochondria or psychoplasts in the cells. Blond son marries dark girl, has blond son and dark daughter. This only works if Anakin did have a father and he was blond. Mythologically, blond is good, dark is bad. What's going on when the colouration is sex-linked?

And why do I and my companion still have no idea what the title is about?

For children, they might enjoy it, but there was a good deal too much fighting for anyone trying to bring up children Quaker, and the purpose of much of it was not clear, so it would be hard to explain or discuss. It was clearly made for the ten-year-old boy market, whom it would probably please. It was the young teenage children who kept going to the loo. I may have a report from some pupils on Monday, as I recognised part of the audience.

Peter T, we creep about quietly so as not to disturb the local yobs. Please explain the Mills Brothers reference.