Dere freds,
Yore obivuos lak obv gude centz and brazzen behabour iz unaxable hare and ef you and yore haf-sheep compardray air intense fore gettin' down to it than I say lets throw some handz! I habv alzo receeved sartin infromshon thet wuld put you in the vicity ob my OFFICIAL MAGNETIC SINE, which war stole by miscrints from the Boberdz' Toyota only larst week and am mose anshus to whup somonez aiss fer this high crime.

Yerz,
Tweedzerzz.