Dear Finance Seer,

You are, of course, quite right and a run on the F could spell trouble for chord banks everywhere not to mention speech and literature in general.

Let me try and illustrate with a legal example:

Consider the following short extract from the transcript of the George Carlin monologue at issue in the Supreme Court case of FCC v. Pacifica Foundation. In this case there has been a run on all the Fs...

uck (laughter) Good word. Kind of a proud word, too. Who are you? I am UCK. (laughter) UCK OF THE MOUNTAIN. (laughter) Tune in again next week to UCK OF THE MOUNTAIN. (laughter) It's an interesting word too, [']cause it's got a double kind of a lie -- personality -- dual, you know, whatever the right phrase is. It leads a double lie, the word uck. Irst of all, it means, sometimes, most o the time, uck. What does it mean? It means to make love. Right? We're going to make love, yeh, we're going to uck, yeh, we're going to uck, yeh, we're going to make love. (laughter) we're really going to uck, yeah, we're going to make love. Right? And it also means the beginning o lie, it's the act that begins lie, so there's the word hanging around with words like love, and lie, and yet on the other hand, it's also a word that we really use to hurt each other with, man. It's a heavy. It's one that you have toward the end o the argument. (laughter) Right? (laughter) You inally can't make out. Oh, uck you man. I said, uck you. (laughter, murmur) Stupid uck. (laughter) Uck you and everybody that looks like you. (laughter) man. It would be nice to change the movies that we already have and substitute the word uck or the word kill, wherever we could, and some o those movie cliches would change a little bit. Maduckers still on the loose. Stop me beore I uck again. Uck the ump, uck the ump, uck the ump, uck the ump, uck the ump.

What is clear here is that there would be no legal case for Mr Carlin to answer had ther been a run on the Fs.

Consider also that we would not have Eminem, Dr. Dre (no relation so far as I am aware nor to Dr. Dreadnought unless he is moonlighting) and 50 cents, should there be a run on the F.

So having reconsidered, my Dear Ebbie Alona Lott, it wouldn't, in this specific case, be too bad at all for you to take a (careful) peek at that F site, provided that you only look and do not touch. The latter action is safer in the hands of trained professionals such as myself and those previously mentioned.

With my most sincere regards,

Dr. Guitar