He arrived in town unnoticed under cover of mediocrity. He did not "blow into town on a strong wind" – his personality was so devoid of substance that wind (strong or otherwise) could not have found purchase. The choices of his life could be described by one word – "safe". He might have been in town for weeks spreading his particularly gray charm to nobody.

Suddenly his world changed.

A full twelve inches of blue-black hair sat crookedly atop a face with skin made taut by the upward force of the huge tortoise shell combs that the foot-high coiffure required, and the downward pull of the immense turquoise and silver earrings that dangled from well-expanded holes in her ear lobes. It may be safe to assume that the earrings were originally a cowboy's belt buckles enjoying a second life as jewelry.

She jangled as she walked. She sparkled. She was a flashlight bulb stuck into a 220 outlet and she was shining way past capacity.

Their eyes met.

The void of his personality drew her to him. A force of nature. Irresistible. Suddenly the world achieved a balance never before dreamed of...