Oh, you can't sing the blues if you drive a Bay-Em-Vay,
Oh, you can't sing the blues if you drive a Bay-Em-Vay,
No, you can't sing the blues if you drive a Bay-Em-Vay,
Cause a Beemer goes so fast, it'll drive them blues a-way.

Oh, you can't sing the blues if you ride in a limosine,
Oh, you can't sing the blues if you ride in a limosine,
No, you can't sing the blues if you ride in a limosine,
Cause a limo's got a bar, a VCR and a TV screen.

Oh, you can't sing the blues if you live on the Upper East Side,
Oh, you can't sing the blues if you live on the Upper East Side,
No, you can't sing the blues if you live on the Upper East Side,
Cause the doorman's from Harlem, and he knows that you done lied.

Oh, you can't drown your blues in martinis and G 'n T's,
Oh, you can't drown your blues in martinis and G 'n T's,
No, you can't drown your blues in martinis and G 'n T's,
Stoli and Gordon's won't give you the real DT's.

there's probably more of this nonsense, but it hasn't come to me yet.