now justa doggone minnit.

Amos, that's not bad. That's wordy but accurate, and about the only cliche' is the horses' name. And it's compelling. Am I missing something?

Funny, but that's sorta why I posted the "Guitar" thing above. I had written it some time ago as part of a short story. Then I started reading more about writing (things like "Never use adjectives!....well almost never".). I've started to second guess myself, and I guess I'm not confident that I know good from bad anymore. I knew that, in a sorta good/sorta brutal way, if it was bad the mudcat would let me know -- and what better vehicle to find out than a thread that's supposed to be bad writing.