Jogging Shoes
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Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.

"What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?"

"Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."

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Please Pronounce
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Two tourists were driving through Nova Scotia. As they were approaching a town called Tatamagouche, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?"

The blonde leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr... gerrrrrr ... Kiiiing!