Here is what Tom sang on Sunday morning, attributed as above to Don Freed, on "Live ARR!" from Bushleague.

YOU CAN'T BE A PIRATE
(Don Freed)

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an ear.
It drips down your neck, and it falls on the deck,
'Til someone shouts, "Oy, what's this 'ere?"
You can't wear your glasses, you can't [poll?] the lasses,
Your friends have to shout so you'll hear;
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an ear.

CHORUS
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate, a pirate);
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.
Oh, it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate, a pirate);
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an eye.
It stings like the blazes, it makes you pull faces,
You can't let your mates see you cry.
A dashing black patch will cover the hatch
And make sure that the socket stays dry;
Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses an eye.
CHORUS

Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a hand.
It spurts and it squirts and it jolly well hurts,
Pain only a pirate could stand.
The fash'nable look is a nice metal hook,
But now you can't play in the band.
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses a hand.
CHORUS

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses a leg.
It hurts like the dickens, your pace never quickens,
Hopping around on a peg.
Ask your sweetheart to marry, but too long you've tarried,
'Cause now you can't kneel down and beg.
Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a leg.
CHORUS

He added a verse, "Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a ....... whatsit" at the pub sing but what with one thing and another I did not get that one. Did anyone?

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