'Course we're real, well most of us anyway. We've both got dentures, and Liz wears a falsie on one side ever since that nasty accident when she was "exercising" this big alsation dog wot started nibbling 'er boob and got carried away. I 'ad a bit of me whotsit removed when they gave me this hysterical thingummy, but I've still got the important bit and it works fine. Mindyer, Doris the Dyke has a strap-on bit which aint real, but it's not as good as a proper bloke's one. Why not come over to Chingford and be our guest. It's probly best if yer tells Matron that you're a priest or sumfink coz she's gone all religers ever since that nice young vicar started coming round. She had a private prayer session wiv 'im the other day and she must 'ave got the religern real strong coz the whole home could 'ere 'er shoutin out "halleluja!" and "Oh god I'm coming" - she's still ere though.

Come on over darling and check out our credentials.