Oh my, where to begin. A cop friend of mine once K-Y jellied the door handles of my emergency vehicle. In the same spirit of public spirited jollity, I waited until he had parked his cop bike on the ambulance dock of a local hospital. Picture concrete troweled to a near mirror surface. I laid a bead of KY the size of the average banana slug under his rear tire. I was there to see him try to take off. Ride 'em cowboy. Made him put his foot down. He knew who it was, I was the one bent over and crying.

On the other hand, I am told that if you fold a large inner tube (say fire engine size) in half and sandwich it between the mattress and box springs of a bed you're half way there. Hide and extend a suitable hose to a high pressure air bottle. 4,500 psi will do nicely. About two in the morning open the air bottle. The innocent slumberer is launched across the room as the innertube unfolds. Or so I'm told.

D.