Marion,

I'm pleased and honored you found my questions useful. I think Guest KB has hit the nail on the head though, with:

"You heard her story, and it inspired you to explore that situation emotionally and to build a song - but that song comes from your emotional response to the concept, not hers."

IMO, this is what you have actually done. I also think Guest KB's suggestion...

"I don't think you should tell her that you have written this song about her - I think you should tell her that hearing about her tragedy made you think deeply about the loss of a stillborn child, and that those thoughts inspired you to write a song."

...is also the most sensible advice for interacting with her, but only if you actually want to contact her. I don't believe that as a writer, you have any obligation to have contact with her.

The artistic process is somewhat odd in that real life stories, whether recent or long past, are often the inspiration for the work we do. Sometimes we actually channel stuff, and don't really know where it comes from, but that is less common. Of course, we always prefer the latter, because when it comes, it is easy--all we have to do is get out of the way! But when you are doing the hard work of writing something you KNOW is good stuff, you have to accept that you will be uncomfortable. That's why most people never end up doing the difficult work of being an artist. Artists live on the edge of society, are always peering and leering into center of society and people's lives for their inspiration. But the actual work that comes out of it is CREATION not exploitation.

Be that as it may, it doesn't mean that everyone who hears the song will react to it the way you would like them to! No artist worth their salt wants to be perceived as manipulative, exploitative and all that other nasty stuff. But for most of humanity, who aren't artists and who don't live with the discomfort of creation and giving birth on a routine basis (which includes creating and giving birth to the characters and personas in songs and poems inspired by the real life the artist themselves experience), they do often view artists as all those bads things! Hence, the need for artists of integrity to grow very thick skins. Comes with the territory of being a pro.

If you know it is one of your great songs and you want to get it out there, I say, get it out there, and let it go. You can't control people's reactions to it. Not everything you write will make you feel this way, but like I said, this is one of the circumstances that should make you feel uncomfortable. That is A Good Thing. It shows you have integrity, a good conscience, a functioning moral compass, all that. But at the end of the day, you are a songwriter and performer. This is one of your babies, all grown up and ready to fly. So let it go, with a little prayer, like we do with all our babies, and you and the baby will be fine!